Made up definitions

Every now and then you hear a word used in a way that isn't a Webster's Dictionary definition of the word (or even an Urban Dictionary word). What makes these words special is when that definition is clearly understood by several people and frequently used.

Powderize is a real word - make into a powder by breaking up or cause to become dust. My family has a different definition for the powderize.

Powderize: the act of adding powdered detergent to a dishwasher.

I powderized the dishwasher. Can you start it when you're done with that glass?

My new favorite kind of made up word turns gluten from a noun into a verb by adding "ize" - glutenize. To glutenize is to take a food item that was originally gluten free and cross contaminate it with gluten making it no longer safe to be eaten by people with celiac disease. Most of the time, it's butter.

I just glutenized this butter.

That's OK, the gluten free butter is over there.

Glutenize.

Preemptive Snooze

Here's my idea for what should be a standard feature on all alarm clocks. We are modern people living in modern times and we need this.

My radio alarm is set for 7:00 AM. When it goes off, I press snooze once. When the snooze alarm goes off, I get up and go wake one of my kids. The other is already up - no idea why. Lately, I've been waking up at 6:55. Then I lie there half asleep, hit the snooze at 7:00, continue to lie there dazed or maybe catch a few more minutes of sleep until the snooze alarm goes off at 7:09.

I want a preemptive snooze button. At 6:55, I no longer need the 7:00 alarm. I want to press a button that bypasses the 7:00 alarm but goes off at 7:09 when that first snooze would have gone off. It's probably easy to program. Something like double tap the snooze button would work.

I actually remember buying the clock that is on the night table next to my bed. It was late August in 1989. I got it at a Caldors while gathering stuff to bring to college in Boston. It's a pretty basic clock but it has served me well. I can set it in my sleep, but if I could get a preemptive snooze button I'd ditch it tonight.

Why don't we have this?

Randomness from the week

Some random things since the last post...
 
1. Last week the kids found out who there teachers were going to be this year. A few days later, the kids received a letter from the principal asking them to wear school colors on the first day of school for a big assembly. I wouldn't have thought it was a big deal seeing as they had worn school colors to a number of spirit days and other events each year of school...

But never on the first day. They had outfits picked out for the first day. Plans were made before being rudely interrupted. It's been a few days. They are still upset and stressing over the search for new clothes that meet certain set of first day outfit requirements and contain school colors.

2. I set off a little firestorm redirecting the kids' first day outfit anger at me. Allison came up with the idea of making some Italian ice. Unfortunately, there was no time to make Italian ice before the kids went to visit my in-laws for a few days. So on my way out, I told Allison I would have everything at the house when she got back and then asked if she wanted to keep scraping a pan like the recipe called for, or use the ice cream machine. She said she wanted to use the ice cream machine and I headed off to work.

Apparently, the kids didn't remember we had an ice cream maker. They were both there the last time the ice cream maker got used but that was a few years ago. It's one of those appliances that gets used twice a decade. On the ride to my in-laws, my wife was peppered with questions:

Dad said we have and ice cream machine.
Where is the ice cream machine?
What color is it?
Did you know we had one?
What does it look like?
Did you get it before we were born?
You've had an ice cream machine and never told us about it?
Why didn't you tell us you had an ice cream machine?

This isn't going to end well for me. I know that their imaginations have lead them to believe there is a full sized soft serve ice cream machine hidden in the basement when in reality, it is a small little Cuisinart thing the size of a toaster. I've already cleaned out the little freezer insert. I should go put it in the freezer immediately.

4. The bottom rubber thing (I believe that is the technical term) on the bottom of the side door to our garage was falling off. I took the door off the hinges to get a better look. Instead of being able to just replace the unattached bottom rubber thing, I found a lot of dry rot. Turns out the bottom rubber thing was supposed to be attached to wood that had disappeared. Not wanting to have to replace the whole door and deal with realigning hinges, I dug out all the dry rot and replaced it with two types of epoxy, some paint stirrers used as filler and a new bottom rubber thing. In the end, I think it cost about $25. Hopefully this particular "fix" will last a few years.

5. I spend a lot of time thinking about pizza. Probably too much time. Between vacation and a few other things, I haven't spent much time on the pizza forum. I went from being right on top of things to 26 pages of forum threads behind. I was surprised to have found a knock-down, no holds barred argument over leavening agents suitable for a classic New York Style pizza. I was actually taken aback by the fight having never seen anything that mean spirited on the forum. The main participants were two guys that I have never met, but I have come to respect and admire both of them. I was relieved to see it had kind of ended and one of the guys related it to brothers fighting. But still, I've got a shit-ton of catching up to do.

6. More pizza. All of of backyard plans seem to stall out because of pure indecision. We've gone around in circles several times. Doesn't look like the wood fired oven is going to happen in 2014. There's still a good chance we will make progress on the yard and maybe get the foundation set, but I don't want to race winter with a masonry project. I want to be able to take my time. Get it right.

On the other hand, I hate our oven for making pizza. It just doesn't get hot enough. So as a temporary band-aid, I bought a Black Stone pizza oven at Lowes. There's been a lot of beautiful pizza coming out of them on the forum. Hopefully I'll be able to make some too once I get it assembled.

7. Still more pizza. Back when I made the Firedome, I had to trim an inch or two off a peel so it would fit through my makeshift oven door. I've grown tired of only being able to make really small pizza and I'd like to learn how to form larger dough balls. During lunch today, I set off to Bed Bath and Beyond to check out their peels. Have I mentioned I take pizza too seriously?

The only pizza peel they had there was basically a pizza peel shaped cutting board for $35. C'mon.

The peel is made with wood fibers and some kind of resin. It's also dishwasher safe. Not sure why you would want that, but maybe someone out there does. I don't know if you can read the "heat resistant" section out in the second picture. This $35 cutting board is "heat resistant"  all the way up to 350 degrees F. I can even get my crappy oven up to 500 degrees. I see this $35 piece of saw dust and glue melting all over someone's pizza stone or steel. I should be able to take a deep breath and move on, but instead I took pictures and then was pissed for the rest of the day. It's not healthy. I'll see if I can get to a restaurant supply store tomorrow.  I bet I can get a better peel for less than half the cost.

Pros & Cons

Some recent pros and cons, in no particular order:

Pro: To date, I believe I am winning the 2013 Battle of the Lawn.
Con: I fully expect the lawn to die tomorrow now that I have jinxed it.
We are in negotiations to buy a house.
Pro: I really like the house
Con: Thinking about moving and mortgages gives me a stomach ache.


Pro: The wok I ordered was delivered today
Con: I'm on the road this week and off on a vacation next week. I won't get to use the wok for at least two weeks.

A friend text messaged me on Friday night from my favorite bar.
Pro: The bartender was disappointed I wasn't there.
Con: I wasn't there.
Even more Con: The bar is about 300 miles away.
Rebound Pro: I should be visiting in mid September.

Pro: I'm really enjoying Twitter.
Con: I've wasted hours and hours screwing around on Twitter

Pro: There's a stupid motorcycle game on my phone and I'm pretty good at it.
Con: I'm fairly confident that all of the random opponents I have played are kids messing around on their parents' phone.

Pro: My daughter will begin trumpet lessons this year and there's a good chance she will use the same horn I played at her age.
Con: I'm going to hear Hot Crossed Buns a million times.

I wonder how sound proofed the basement is in that other house....

Really?

C'mon, Jimmy....how much margarita money is enough? I wish you still put this kind of energy into your music.

Moonshiners

Every so often a silly reality TV show catches my eye. Not sure how I stumbled onto a marathon of the first season of Moonshiner's, but I did. The new season started yesterday. The season premier has everything: Moonshine, cops vs. robbers and you find yourself rooting for the robbers, explosives, overalls, a guy with crazy sideburns, and the triumphant return of a permanently drunk guy named "Tickle."

Do you think the guys at Albany Distilling watch? They should have Wednesday night viewing parties. I'd go every week.

New episodes are on Wednesdays at 10. I'm sure they rerun them a bunch of times during the week.

Strange-ness at Stewarts

I saw this earlier this morning while picking up some milk. In the spirit of Mr. Dave, I snapped a picture.

They've met the goal. The date for Alan pumping gas in a dress didn't appear to be set. Alan rung up my milk purchase. He has yet to pick out a dress. He plans to go shopping this week.

The International Space Station

A few months ago I got a smartphone. I love playing with the thing. My recent fixation is a Ken-Ken puzzle app. The nerd in me finds them strangely addicting. I am constantly amazed at how powerful the phone is and how that technology can used. You can go from incredibly dumb things (like turning your phone into a virtual lighter, whip or mug of beer) to incredibly useful (like turning the phone's camera into a compass - strangely handy on construction sites). The apps that absolutely amaze me are the astronomy apps. Point the phone at a star and it tells you the name of the star and the constellation it's in. And the app that totally floors me every time is ISS Detector. This thing points you in the direction of the International Space Station as it flies overhead. Last night just before 10 I walked out onto the deck with the phone and waited for the space station to come flying over the house. Then there is was. A little ball of light flying across the sky. In about 5 minutes it was out of sight again. Some nights (depending on the path the space station is on) you can see it about every 2 hours. That's how fast the thing is going. So which is more impressive: There is currently a manned space station orbiting earth every 2 hours or the little magic box in my pocket that can point at it. Tough call. And kudo's NASA. That Mars rover landing kicked ass.

The most fun you can have with a clown

This is clearly a 70's toy. Why? Because it could hurt you. I vividly remember playing with this as a kid and loving it. A garden hose forces water through a clown head and the water shoots out the top. The hat "floats" on the spray of water. The more you turn on the hose, the higher it goes. The water hitting the hat sprays all over the place as the hat kind of hovers. Hours of fun for children ages 5 and up, right?

It was a little windy when we had the clown head hooked up but we managed to get it hovering 10 to 12 feet up. I'm guessing this wonderful toy went the way of the lawn dart when too many kids got hit on the head with the hat.

Making Movies

In 1980, Dire Straits release the album Making Movies. I love the music on this album. It just speaks to me. I'm not sure why. I remember listening to it for the first time. I was pushing 10. I was in my brother Mike's dorm room with my other brother David. Just the 3 of us. Mike played the album for us (yes, album-round vinyl thing that spun on a fancy lazy Susan while being read by a needle at the end of a floating arm).

I'm not sure what took my so long, but on Sunday night I put the CD into the computer and transferred the songs onto an MP3 player. Since then, I've listen to it 3 times. Once I post this, I'm going to listen to it again.

Album side note: all my praise for this collection of music does not include the last track. It's just not as good as the rest of the album.

Edible Packaging

Every so often I get an email about a bunch of different sensors that can do all kinds of things. In today's email, there was one heading that read "Bottle Tastes As Good As Beverage." Huh?

I followed the link here. Edible bottles based on grapes.  To quote the write up:

WikiCells use special membrane technology that permits the fabrication of thin delicious membranes with significant water diffusional resistance and adjoined shells that allow for stability of the WikiCells over long periods of time.

Will there be a 5 cent deposit on thin, delicious membranes?

New Shop Rite Coming

The new store is opening soon and I just got invited to a preview. Surprisingly cool. Plus I'm writing this on my new phone. So far this is looking like a good week. Hopefully I'll get to the summer sausage tonight.

I've been lazy

Been reading more instead of posting. Plus I've been listing to a few books on an MP3 player. It is strange because the guy reading the book is doing more of a performance than just a read. I'm almost through listening to my second Jonathan Kellerman novel. The novel in the background helps pass the time making spreadsheet charts. There have been a lot of charts lately. I can't read and listen to the story. No problem mindlessly formatting charts and listening though. I'm not sure how you return an audio download to the library. I guess I'll find out when one of them is due next week.

But hopefully the laziness will slowly pass. I took out some beef to thaw, picked up some pork butt and I think I'm going to have another go at Summer Sausage. That's one that takes a few nights to put together. And at some point, I have to tile the kitchen. That is getting to be embarrassingly delayed.

And my oldest has just started playing softball. She might even be a pitcher. It sure would be nice if I could live my failed gold medal Olympic dreams vicariously through her...no pressure though.

On the road

I'm on the road this week. Yesterday during a pitstop in the town of Bath, NY I bought a lottery ticket and a bottle of water. The cashier asked for my ID. Slightly stunned becasue I am 40 years old, bald and buying water and a lottery ticket I said, "It's just just a water." I was told this gas station cards all tabacco, lottery and alcohol purchases. Then I was told a story about a 90 something year old guy that buys lottery tickets here daily and gets carded each time.

Seriously? After the first month of daily carding a 90+ yeard old guy that you know by name you're not going to let slide a little for him? Hard time believing he's over 18 after having it prove it to you over 30 times? Crazy.

On the opposite side of the customer service scale...We stopped into my favorite bar in the world last night. I had called to pre-order a cheesecake made by a regular customer. But the regular customer has been a little under the weather lately. And unable to reach me to let me know my cheesecake order was cancelled, Jeanette (the best bartender ever), made us chocolate chip cookies herself and brought them into the bar for us. Pretty amazing service for a couple of guys that come to the bar once or twice a year.

A new look in the kitchen

We are considering replacing the tile counter tops with this stone. You know, so the pictures of food that I take for this blog will look better.

And because we hate the tile. A lot.

Albany Distilling Company

I saw on Table Hopping that the Albany Distillery just got their still. I'm kind of excited about this and looking forward to trying some of their stuff in a few months. I signed up for the newsletter too.

I hope they give tours. That would be a great reason to leave work early...like you really need one.

Boom goes the dynamite

We were testing a few beams at work today. The beams were removed a bridge that is currently being replaced. Turns out if you center about 85,000 pounds on these beams, they break. It was pretty cool, but quieter than I thought it was going to be.

In Modernist bacon news, I have all the ingredients at the house now except pork belly. Tomorrow, I am supposed to get a call from Adventures In Food to let me know my pork belly is back in stock. I think it will weigh 12 to 13 pounds. My current plan (which is very subject to change) is to make 4 kinds of Modernist recipe bacon, 4 pounds or my typical bacon using the Modernist technique, and 4 pounds of pancetta. I am almost out of pancetta and that can't be allowed to happen.

Local Lettuce

I saw this lettuce in Hannaford or the Fresh Market this weekend and bought it. A package of local, living lettuce complete with Steve's phone number on the label. I should have taken more pictures. There was a cool root bundle at the bottom.

I used the lettuce in a salad with dinner tonight. It's pretty good lettuce. If you were making some kind of lettuce wrap, these leaves would be perfect that. I'd get it again. Well done, Steve.

Showing my age

Earlier today I was grocery shopping in Hannaford. As I pushed my cart around a corner I saw a display stand and for some reason my eye was drawn to a Taylor Swift picture. I thought, "Taylor Swift put out something on vinyl?!? And you can get her record at Hannaford?!?! That's crazy!"

Turns out it was crazy. Upon closer inspection, it was a calendar. Ouch.

Food & Whine

The PTA and the Girl Scouts were both running magazine drives at the same time earlier this year. In an effort to pad the girls magazine sales, I ordered a 2 year subscription to Food and Wine. I had never looked at an issue before receiving one in the mail. Many years ago, I had a subscription to Bon Appetite. My first Food and Wine looked pretty much the same as those did. Seemed like every page had an ad and each issue could be counted on for 1 or 2 tidbits that were interesting.

The first issue I got had two "OK" articles, no recipes or techniques worth trying, and a crap-ton of ads. Even some of the articles were ads. You know the kind, write ups for $40 salad bowls you shouldn't have to live without. Typically, I save every food magazine I buy. This one went out in last weeks recycling. 'Nough said.

My second issue recently came. This one has some better articles and one recipe that I might actually try sometime. Jonathan Waxman gave a list of his top 10 obsessions. He also supplied a really good looking beef stroganoff recipe. This issue was also very Top Chef centric. They had their own little Top Chef magazine inside the larger magazine. Personally, I watch the show. If you don't, this issue would have been a waste of time.

One of the features in the Top Chef insert was a trivia quiz. I aced it, but the Just Desserts spinoff question was a lucky guess. Not sure if I should be proud of that. Multiple choice always helps. Phairhead...hope you studied....

1. On Top Chef, Season 4, Spike Mendelsohn was told to pack his knives after using what ingredient?
   a. canned peas
   b. frozen scallops
   c. freeze dried ice cream
   d. smoked salmon

2. On Top Chef Just Desserts, Season 1, which cheftestants were members of Team Diva? (I dunno)
   a. Zac, Yigit, Heather H
   b. Erika, Tim, Eric
   c. Morgan, Heather C, Yigit
   d. Seth, Maleka, Zac

3. On the Top Chef Season 8 Finale, Mike Isabella made _______, which the judges went nuts over.
   a. noodle kugel
   b. pepperoni sauce
   c. stuffed peppers
   d. fish tacos

4. On Top Chef Season 5, cheftestants cooked the dishes for Gail Simmon's _______.
   a. birthday party
   b. book release party
   c. bachelorette party
   d. bridal shower

5. On Top Chef Season 7, Alex Reznik was accused of stealing Ed Cotton's ______.
   a. pea puree
   b. chicken stock (seriously? no reason to steal his box of Swanson's)
   c. whipped cream
   d. watch

6. Who was the first-ever guest judge to appear on Top Chef Season 1, Episode 1?
   a. Ozzy Osbourne
   b. Big Bird
   c. Hubert Keller
   d. Jacques Pepin

7. What celebrity did the cheftestants cook vegan dishes for on Top Chef Season 6?
   a. Natalie Portman
   b. Alicia Silverstone
   c. Beyonce
   d. Moby

8. What flavor of ice cream did Richard Blais serve on the Top Chef Season 8 finale?
  a. froot loop
  b. foie gras
  c. chocolate chip
  d. cheddar cheese

Pencils down, hands up. You aced it, didn't you?

Only 22 more issues of my subscription, but who's counting?