Signs

I don't get the upside of putting a sign for a politician in your yard. Is it supposed to change someone's mind as they walk or drive by? Is it just for name recognition? Why?

I've only had a political sign in the yard once. The few times I've been asked to put a sign up, I just say I live at the end of a dead end street. No one but me will see the sign. But the time I put a sign up, one of my neighbors was running, it was his sign, one house over had the opponent's sign and he wanted one of his near the opponent's sign. I avoided the awkwardness and said sure.

I voted for the opponent.

That was some time ago. Years before Trump's Republican party. These days I would have dealt with the awkwardness and said something like, "I suspect it will be a full generation before I even consider voting for you or any other Republican." And based on some political conversations in the time since, I don't think he'd ask again, to spare himself the awkward conversation.

On the Saturday before election day, a different house put up some signs. I already knew they probably leaned right. But there's a level of leaning right and then there's thinking that election conspiracy, anti-LGBTQ, anti women's health Lee Zeldin is a good choice level of leaning right.

I was left with questions.

Why even bother, there isn't much traffic past this driveway and the election is in 3 days?

Really?

You know voting for him is a vote against your daughter having decent healthcare in the future, right?

You've got signs for Zeldin and Velella, but skipped Liz Joy. She's too bat shit crazy for you but the other pair are OK? 

The "Don't say gay" bill would lead to a lot of really, really bad, cruel things. You're good with that?

I was disappointed in my neighbors. Maybe I'm over reacting. Sure doesn't feel that way though. On the positive side, Zeldin and Velella both lost. No idea if the signs had any impact on the neighborhood vote, but they didn't work overall.

I get not being thrilled with Hochul. I'm not. The campaign donation followed by a big contract is sketchy at best. The football stadium is stupid. I guess that's her expensive bridge. Hopefully she doesn't name it after her father. Her election bid was one October screw up away from a loss. I saw something on elections recently that made a lot sense. Basically it said elections are like public transportation. You pick the candidate that is going to get you the closest to where you want to go. I don't want to go anywhere with Lee Zeldin.

Saw this from a Canadian election observer. It's got to be tough to watch. It ain't exactly fun being a part of the mess either.

It Really Tweaks My Melon - Health Food Store Edition

It is time for the annual Best Of list from our local paper, The Times Union. Year's ago, Daniel formerly of FussyLittleBlog fought the good fight against the list. There were some pretty weak things in the list back then. Subway was voted best Sandwich shop with Panera in the #2 spot. A Japanese restaurant in the Best Chinese restaurant category, that kind of stuff.

In the past, I've written about about the TU food reviews that I've stopped reading, but I still try to keep up on the food scene comings and goings in the paper's Table Hopping blog and the weekly food section. I typically flip through the food/restaurant portion of the Best Of issue that will be coming out soon. But not this year, I'm done. Out. Not even going to hate read it. Right in to the recycle bin.

The list starts with a nomination period. That system might be a few years old. Every ad in Sunday's paper had a "Nominate Us" thing in it. This isn't about a local survey of businesses people love any more. The Best Of is now just product placement for advertisers. Last night I saw the one that really tweaked my melon. It was for Best Health Food Store. Honest Weight Co-Op versus Trader Joe's, a battle between the local store and a national chain.

I don't consider Honest Weight a health food store. It is a great store and I enjoy shopping there, but it isn't a health food store. I also like Trader Joe's and enjoy shopping there but, no way in hell is Trader Joe's a health food store. If our state's liquor laws were different, the local Trader "Not A Health Food Store" Joe's would have a wine section. Ever hear of Two Buck Chuck?

Simply having some things that would also be found in a health food store does not make you a health food store. You can get vitamins, lots of gluten free stuff and even my preferred brand of lactose free, soy free, gluten free, nut based "mozzarella cheese" for vegan pizzas in Target. Doesn't make Target a health food store. Neither is Walmart, Price Chopper, Hannaford, Wegman's, Whole Foods, Healthy Living Center, Trader Joe's or Honest Weight Co-Op.

What has happened is that the availability of items that typically could only be found in a health food store can be found in lots of places now. Earthly Delights in Schenectady was a health food store. Dean's in Westgate was another. When I first started making gluten free things, you had to go to a health food store or use mail order to get ingredients, That stuff is everywhere now. Sad truth is, we are running out of Health Food Stores. They are going extinct. Both Earthly Delights and Dean's are gone. Online shopping and expansive supermarkets have pretty much eliminated them. 

So, yes, you can get some vitamins and lots of things in a Trader Joe's are organic. It's not a health food store. And yes, you can get those things plus I'd argue even more health food store style things at Honest Weight. It's not a health food store.

If you are going to have a Best Of category for health food stores, might as well actually rank the few remaining real ones. But chances are they never advertise in the Times Union.

(Hi Mom!)

It really tweaks my melon, again

Once again, I'm going to channel my inner Abe Simpson and publicly whine about a few things:

Major League Baseball is on hiatus

By hiatus, I mean I’m not watching any of it this year. A few years ago, back when I was still exercising regularly, I was on the road for work in Utica. I had just gone for a jog and noticed that there was a baseball game being played at the high school next door to the hotel. I went over and watched a few innings. Yes, a game played at the high school level is not played as well as in the big leagues. But it was more fun to watch. And since my oldest daughter has been playing softball, I’d rather be a part of that than watch a pro game. Have you ever seen a college softball game? That’s more fun to watch than a pro baseball game too. But major league greed is what pushed me over the edge. This off season, it has become painfully clear that there are several teams that just don’t care about a winning season for their fans. I’m not taking about a World Series win, I’m talking about putting a pro team on the field that is worth watching. Something more than a game above 500. Tanking multiple seasons has become an accepted practice and every year is a "rebuilding year." Pro baseball doesn’t deserve its fans.

Veterinarian Bills

Our dog Bailey recently got spayed. Now maybe it’s the vet office we chose, but if the cost of spaying/neutering a dog is this much everywhere, there is no reason to wonder why there are so many orphaned dogs. A lot of people aren’t going to pay that. I’m surprised I paid that. A few years ago, there was a great weekend in Boston with a bunch of college friends. We ate and drank and had a blast. Valet parking was involved. That all-out 3 day weekend was cheaper than the sum of our first 3 vet visits. 

I don’t have a lot of experience with veterinarians, but spaying/neutering is something they should probably do a little closer to cost (which should include payment for their time). We needed to return a few weeks after our first visit for a booster shot. They offered to draw some blood for some tests before the spaying operation. It would be $100 cheaper to do in advance instead of on the day. Yeah, sure. Do that. For comparison, I had some blood work done a few months after getting bitten by a tick.

Blood work place: That will be $1200

Insurance company: We’ll give you $49

Blood work Place: OK

What an absurd scam. I don’t expect the vet to lose money with spaying and neutering. But maybe if they didn’t quadruple up on the cost of the procedure, more people would listen to Bob Barker and “help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.”

Restaurant Apology

We went out to dinner last night. We weren’t rushing, but we had one daughter with us and had to pick the other up so we weren’t planning for a long meal. After placing the order, we waited. After about 15 minutes, the waiter came to top off our water glasses and said the food would be out shortly. About 10 minutes after that, he came back and told us that they lost our ticket and were rushing to fill our order now. He apologized. We said it was OK, it happens. He brought out the food and apologized again. We started eating. A manager came over to check on us and apologized, asked how everything was and told us she was going to comp an entrée. She said there was an emergency in the kitchen, someone had to rush out and the ticket got lost. We accepted her apology. The waiter apologized a few more times. They offered us a free desert which we passed on because we had to get going and they took a $21 entrée off the bill. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say they apologized for the delay 6 or 7 times. It kind of felt like the Monty Python sketch about the dirty fork: “I am the manager. I’ve only just heard." "I want to apologize humbly, deeply and sincerely about the fork.” 

The apologies worked. I don’t have any ill will toward the restaurant and I’d go back. Truth be told, the only apology I really wanted was for making me have to listen to Phil Collins sing Against All Odds while waiting for dinner.

Reviewing the Reviewer

More often than not, when I buy a Sunday Times Union it’s because I need paper for lighting chimneys of charcoal or fires in the wood oven. That’s probably a sad statement about the newspaper business. I haven’t been keeping up with the weekly restaurant reviews but when I get a paper I read the write up. It’s weird how reviews seem to end up in either moderate, silent reader agreement or passionate, loud reader disagreement. Writing style plays a big part in it too. I’m sure the current reviewer is a great person, but I don’t care for her writing style. Aside from occasionally needing a dictionary to understand a sentence, there have been a few “scat” references that I felt were poor choices in a professional restaurant review. From a review of Forged:

The black bean brownie with tofu ganache ($9) certainly pushed me to the edge, with its constipated scat of solid black beans and oats, and dribbly coconut milk “whipped cream” with an empty taste of melted ice.

Maybe it was an attempt at humor that went by me. It’s ok not to like something, but the Times Union restaurant review can make or break a local restaurant. Leave “constipated scat” out of a review. And water. Water is “the empty taste of melted ice.” In this week’s review of the Galleria 7 Market, there was an unnecessary shot at a nearby restaurant. 

Of course, you've already checked out Innovo Kitchen in the corner, either because your curiosity was piqued by its owners' embezzlement imbroglio at their previous place or because you'd heard they were killing it in their new space. 

Yes, Innovo Kitchen had a stand in the Galleria 7 Market, but it's gone now. It is a stand alone restaurant around the corner in the same strip mall. Why even mention Innovo Kitchen at all? I don't think the owner or restaurant have anything to with the place being reviewed. It just seems like an unprovoked, mean spirited jab.


Then in the description of the pizza place in the food court:

Anna's pizzas, cooked to order in three minutes, have an intriguing tangy tomato sauce and soot-blackened bottoms that could use a little crunch ($11).

I suppose a little bit of burnt/charred crust could be considered soot. I tend to think of soot as the particles in smoke that end up lining the chimney from incomplete combustion of the wood. I guess you could argue that delicately charred crust can be delicious, incomplete combustion.

I’ve been to Anna’s once. It’s not my favorite pizza. As my father would say, “It isn’t the worst pizza I ever had.” It is easy to find worse pizza locally. I had a slice for lunch last week and I’m still mad at how bad it was (I should have just turned around and left after getting a look at the slices). Anyhow, the reviewer wished Anna’s crust was a little more crisp. Now, I’ll give you Anna’s isn’t a true Neapolitan pizza, but it is clearly inspired by the style and that style is not crisp. To my completely insane pizza obsessive sensibilities, that’s like saying, “the pizza was alright but I wish it was Chicago Deep Dish instead” or “I ordered the steak but wished it was chicken.”

An Anniversary

One year ago today, according to my brother in law's Facebook timeline (and the end of this post), the first pizzas came out of the wood oven.

Made some good progress on the oven since then. It's snowing now but the forecast calls for 40s on Saturday. Time to fire up the oven and make some pizza. I think I’m going to try to make some bigger pies this time. I’m usually in the 13-14 inch range. I’m going to see if I can bump a few pies up to 16 inches. As I age, it’s amazing what passes for excitement.

Note to Phairhead - I hope you are feeling better soon!

Options

I have very mixed feelings on the round of Common Core testing that my kids took last week, and will continue to take tomorrow. We came very close to opting out.

Really close.

But we didn't. A few nights ago there was a segment on the testing on a show called "All In with Chris Hayes." The segment featured Diane Ravitch (an educator and very well spoken critic of these tests) and Merryl Tisch (the head of the NYS Board of Regents and I suppose an educator too). When given the opportunity to speak, Ravitch was basically shredding the tests, and Tisch was rambling and calling the tests a "diagnostic tool" comparing them to height and weight percentiles during a pediatric visit. This defense of the tests makes no sense to me because do you really care what height and weight percentiles your kid is in?  Do you honestly give a shit if your baby's head circumference is in the 74th or 88th percentile? I just need the doctor to say, "Everything looks good." Tisch closed by saying the kids being opted out were caught in a labor dispute. There's a little truth to that, but does she really think that the head of the teacher's union has enough pull to get this kind of reaction? I don't.

I think most people chose to opt out because they believe it is in the best interest of their kids to skip the test for a variety of reasons. Mainly, a basic disagreement in education philosophy. Ever hear two kids discuss a correct constructed response?  No topic, just the proper form of a response. I have, and it's a little disturbing. Add in these tests are unproven to produce meaningful results, the tests appear to be generally flawed, there are many examples of questions not suited for the targeted grade level, unnecessary stress...the list could easily continue before you get down to labor dispute.

One common complaint about these tests is that may questions are not age appropriate. I don't have a background in education, so I'm not a good judge of what words a 5th grader should or shouldn't know. The internet is filled with so much stuff, it's hard to tell what's true. Especially in an issue like this where emotions are running pretty high. I saw a link to a blog highlighting a number of reasons why these tests are useless, all from anonymous sources which is sadly necessary because no one is allowed to talk about the content of the test. This quote is from the middle of the post:

"As far as developmentally inappropriate goes, besides the actual length of the test, the word "acrid" was in one passage, and one of the multiple choice questions required students to choose a definition for it. How many adults know what "acrid" means, even with context clues?"

I asked my 5th grade daughter.  This is true. This was on the test. She didn't know what acrid meant. She didn't remember much about the context or which answer she put down. I asked the next two adults I saw if they knew the definition of acrid. They didn't.

So do you know what acrid means?
Would you expect a 10 year old to know?

How about these examples (taken from a Washington Post article)? I don't have 8th or 6th grade kids so I can't confirm them, but I bet they are accurate.

A reading passage from the 8th grade test included this from a New York Times article:
"Paradoxically, we posit that our fear of children being harmed by mostly harmless injuries may result in more fearful children and increased levels of psychopathology."

I hate it when I'm harmed by mostly harmless injuries. My psychopathology levels go through the roof. Paradoxically speaking, of course.

One from the 6th grade test:
As a result, the location of the cloud is an important aspect, as it is the setting for his creation and part of the artwork.  In his favorite piece, Nimbus D’Aspremont, the architecture of the D’Aspremont-Lynden Castle in Rekem, Belgium, plays a significant role in the feel of the picture. “The contrast between the original castle and its former use as a military hospital and mental institution is still visible,” he writes. “You could say the spaces function as a plinth for the work.” 

No one should have to read that, not even the author's mother. But I suppose all 6th graders would agree that the spaces obviously are quite an excellent plinth, if they had access to a computer and could Google "plinth definition." I just did...but I didn't have to look up acrid. So I can pass 5th grade, but not 6th.

Yes, these may be extreme examples. But someone was supposed to spend a lot of time developing a good test. Not most of the test. All of the test. After seeing these examples, how can I or any other parent have confidence in these test developers? Did any one at the Board of Regents preview this? Were they allowed to see it and comment? Am I an idiot for not knowing what "plinth" means?


Politicians and the Board of Regents are kidding themselves if they think children don't feel the stress of these Common Core tests. There is definitely pressure. And that pressure looks to be self imposed to me. Think I'm full of it? Then I wish you were at our house last Saturday night at bedtime while my 9 year old 3rd grader was sobbing out of fear that she wasn't going to do well and her teacher (that she adores) was going to get fired. I know for a fact she isn't the only kid with that fear, including kids in other districts.

Here's an actual conversation from a car ride earlier today. I was driving a handful of Girl Scouts to a troop event.

My Wife: How's it going, girls?
5th Grader: Terrible.
My Wife: What's terrible?
5th Grader: The testing starts again tomorrow.
Other 5th Grader: At least it's math. Math will be better than the English.

The only positive takeaway from this is that some 5th grade girls appear to like math - the subject, not the common core test. And I hope the math test is better. I'm not sure it will be. If the English section is a preview, there may be some alternate interior angle geometry questions on the 3rd grade test.

I'm not sure what we will do next year opting out-wise. As a parent of school aged children, I don't approve of the direction the Governor and Board of Regents are going. While I think these Common Core tests actually started with good intentions, I believe they have devolved into a money grab. I think the State is paying $39 million to Pearson for this round of tests. Next year, give me $20 million, skip the testing completely and I'll supply the Board of Regents with a shit-ton of meaningless numbers. Hell, I'll even throw in a really nice plinth.

Stronger than the storm?

New Jersey has an ad campaign running continuously on our local TV stations and the website, Facebook page to go with it. The campaign's slogan is "Stronger than the storm."

When I was a kid, I went to a Met's game down at Shea. A friend's father took a bunch of us. In the middle of the game, it started to rain a little. Then the rain got harder. And then the game went into a rain delay. Being stupid and young, we made fun of the people that sought shelter inside the stadium. We jumped up and down and yelled things at the sky like "C'mon! That's all you got!" and "You call this rain?!?" As if on cue, the wind picked up and a torrential rain soaked us to the bone. The rain was coming down so hard it hurt. After a few more minutes of pretending we were tougher than the weather, we too slunked inside the stadium in retreat. Since that day, I have treated Mother Nature and her weather with respect. Lesson Learned. This lesson was reinforced with a number of trips to the Outer Banks. Every year, there were fewer houses on the ocean side of the road. The houses kept disappearing. The ocean wanted to be there and it didn't care who was paying the property taxes.

I'm glad New Jersey is recovering from Hurricane Sandy. And they should get the word out that the Jersey Shore is open for business again. But don't mess with Mother Nature. Don't taunt her. Don't tease her. Don't call her names.

You are not stronger than the storm. Remind me- what was that super strong thing you did that evacuated the east coast and caused over 50 billion dollars worth of damage in a few days?  Your drunkest, craziest "Hangover" style week in Atlantic City couldn't touch that tab.

Happy you are on the upswing, Jersey. But if you keep singing your "Stronger than the storm" song, you might want to have an evacuation plan ready this hurricane season in case Mother Nature decides to ask, "Are you stronger than this?"

Don't fuck with Mother Nature. You won't win.

Restaurant Whinning

Maybe this is wussing out, but I'm not going to name the place. I've been a few other times and had significantly better experiences. I'll chalk this up to a Restaurant Week anomaly. So I'm going to bitch and moan about nothing of life changing importance. Hopefully none of this will get read by an actor.

I was downtown earlier tonight, me and two kids on tow, and without realizing it walked into one of the restaurants participating in the almost ended restaurant week. We got there at 4:45. The place was mostly empty. I asked for a table for 3. The hostess asked if I had a reservation and I did not. Apparently that was an incorrect answer. My response was met with sighs and paper flipping. Another host came to the stand. The first said to the second, "I have 3 walk-ins and I don't know if I can put them anywhere." Sorry to inconvenience you with my patronage of your restaurant.

I noticed a Restaurant Week sign, realized they looked like they were going to get slammed and said, "If you are booked up for the restaurant week, we can come back another time." I was told all they had was some tables by the bar or something in the lounge area. The kids were tired and hungry - I had them running all over town for the last 5 hours. So, we tried the lounge area. It looked nice enough, but I envisioned one of my kids dumping something all over the couches there and opted for a high table near the bar.

The kids got burgers. I went with the restaurant week menu. The appetizer and dessert were nothing special and get to escape the whiny, tirade that follows. The main course was not good. A dish that failed from it's inception. It was the dish that a chef proudly presents to Gordon Ramsey or Robert Irvine prior to getting read the riot act about why their restaurant sucks on a restaurant reality TV show. Everything about the dish failed:

The pasta wasn't good - no shit, you could buy better out of the freezer case of any local Italian market.

The sauce was a completely separated oil slick.

There were rings of a bizzaro kielbasa-ish meat, allegedly chorizo.

The diced tomatoes were those Styrofoam kind that get cut into huge chunks and top iceberg lettuce salads in the winter. Probably would have been better and cheaper if they came out of a can. Even cheaper if they never made it onto the plate.

There was some broccoli, mushrooms and shrimp in there too. Very backhanded compliment: though flavorless, the shrimp weren't over cooked.

I find it hard to believe that a professional chef in a pretty popular restaurant came up with the dish. I know, I know, I know...I'm whiny food snob and probably even worse. I wasn't expecting fine dining and I'm sure several corners were cut in trying to make some money at a $20 price point. But for how much chorizo was in the dish - buy a hunk of decent chorizo and use less. You'll need less anyhow. The pasta, you could probably do better at BJ's. Restaurant Depot probably has something along the same lines and maybe better. And the sauce, a line cook out there needs to learn how to make this one. The chef overseeing him should have taught him how to make this sauce prior to the last night of the restaurant week. In fairness to the hosting staff, the place did fill up while we were there. Although when we left, two of the reserved tables had yet to be seated.

Less bitching. More seltzer.

Unbelievable Week

This week has been nuts. Just insane. From the Onion:

“Maybe next time we have a week, they can try not to pack it completely to the fucking brim with explosions, mutilations, death, manhunts, lies, weeping, and the utter uselessness of our political system,” said basically every person in America who isn’t comatose or a complete sociopath. “You know, maybe try to spread some of that total misery across the other 51 weeks in the year. Just a thought.”

I was so sad on Monday. I lived in Boston for about 3 years. Unless you have been to the Boston Marathon, I'm not sure you get how over-the-top fantastic it is. Truly a special day. There's just an energy, a good feeling. Patriot's Day, which I had never heard of prior to living in Boston, really has its own vibe.

My spectator spot for the race was at the corner of Hereford (pretty sure that's the right street - next to a firehouse) and Bolyston. It is literally the beginning of the Home Stretch. The wheel chair racers are the first through and the street erupts when the first racer takes the corner and heads towards the finish line. Then there is a trickle of runners that slowly turns into a flood. You don't leave once the race has a winner. There are thousands of runners on their way that are counting on your support to make it to the finish. And that's not an exaggeration. I've seen plenty of runners that look totally exhausted and dehydrated and in dire need of a nap. But they don't stop. They can't stop. The crowd is literally propelling these completely fatigued runners towards the finish line. And if you know someone running...the only thing more exciting that looking for them in the field of runners is finding them. When my buddy Dan took that corner and headed up Boylston, I think I had that runner's high you hear so much about. And I was just cheering by the curb.

I have such good memories of Boylston and the Back Bay. Not just marathon related. I took a bartending class a few blocks away from the finish line. Sunday morning breakfasts (breakfast food in the early afternoon is probably more accurate) at Hunter's on Boylston. The pub crawl for my 21st birthday started at a place called the Pour House on Bolyston. The night I proposed to my wife, we stayed at the Lenox Hotel on Boylston. No idea how many times I walked up the street just on my way somewhere.

I joined Twitter about 2 weeks ago. The Boston Marathon bombings was the first time social media broke a news story to me. I couldn't believe it. Later that night all hopes of the damage being minimal were gone. Brutal. I found a large part of me wanting to look away, find a stupid sitcom world to escape and hide. And another part me felt obligated to watch. Turning away was ignoring what happened. The people there couldn't turn away. Why should I be granted that luxury?

And then an explosion big enough to register on the Richter scale rocked Texas. That disaster was followed by some much need relief at the All Over Albany birthday party. I got to say hi to people I've met a few times before and met a bunch people I "knew" online but had never actually met. TI felt nice to have a good time.

Unfortunately, that enjoyable evening didn't carry over onto Friday. One police officer was dead, another injured and the Boston area was in lockdown. And closer to home, Friday morning I saw something, nothing bad happened but, well here's what happened: When everyone shows up, 11 kids get on the bus at our bus stop. This morning, a 6th grade girl was there first. I was walking up the street with my girls. I'd say we are 100 to 150 feet away from the bus stop. I can see another parent coming toward the stop with two kids and a puppy. They are probably 200 feet away in another direction. A white van with some plumbing labels on the side stops in front of the bus stop. I can't see the 6th grade girl any more. Another white van (no labels) pull up next to the plumbing van. The vans are both pointed in the same direction. I imagine they are trying to figure out which house they are supposed to go to and have no idea there is a girl beginning to panic to their left. After a few seconds of the vans being parked, I see the girl bolt - running for your life fast - up the street to the other parent.

I don't mean to imply this girl did the wrong thing or over reacted. She did the absolutely correct thing. She feared for her safety, got the hell out of there and went directly to somewhere safe with an adult she trusted. The part that bothers me is that this is a lesson kids need to learn. And I saw the lesson in action a few houses up the road from mine. This is the world we live in. And I've got it easy. Try putting a 5 year old growing up in Watertown, MA to be tonight. What would you say?

Earlier tonight, I went to the Girls Scouts Decades Dance. Each troop picks a song and practiced a dance. This is my third Decades Dance. They are truly very nice events (even though one troop danced to a Taylor Swift song). And the kids really cheer each other on. It was pretty damn cute and hard not to smile.

After the kids were in bed, we turned on the TV and the second bombing suspect had been captured. Hopefully things are turning around. Next week has to be better.

Car Dealers

When the time comes to get another vehicle, I think I'm going to have a hard time. My problem has always been that if I hate your advertising enough, I'll never go your store. Even if it costs more. Never bought a mattress from Resnick's even though Air Tite Windows ripped their sign down. When we were shopping for a car a few years ago, we never shopped any "huge" lots. I really, really hate those ads. Thanks to the magic of DVR I am subjected to them much less frequently. And now, I'm getting annoyed with two other car lots - one where we bought the car and another where it has been serviced a few times. Maybe I'm over reacting, but here's what these two dealerships have recently done.

The dealership we purchased our car from (apart from jamming us for $500 at the closing and never following through with several promised free oil changes) keeps sending us email offering a "fantastic" deal using our current vehicle as a trade-in. In January, our vehicle plus a little over $17,000 would get us a new version of the car. In February, it would have been the trade plus $15,000. In March, the unsolicited offer dropped into the $13,000s. Yesterday, it dropped to $11,146.90 Perhaps, if I ignore them for six more months it will just be an even swap. The value of my trade in only keeps going down. How could they expect me to trust anything they ever tell me again?

The dealer that has done maintenance on the car sent an ad in the mail. But the entire ad is based in deception. They could have sent a flyer, but instead they sent a fake print out of an email sent from the owner to a sales manager. The letter is complete with from, subject, to, an attachment line, some customization to include my wife's name in a few spots and a printed attempt at mimicking a handwritten note. The letter also included a pretend email confidentially notice at the bottom so they could sneak in a few lines about combining offers, other restrictions and an offer end date. Why base your advertisement on a lie? And if it is so important for you to send me a pretend email filled with bullshit, why not actually send me a real email filled with bullshit and spare the tree?

I get that the car business is cut throat. Instead of living up to the sleazy car salesman stereotype, be honest. Maybe that's too much. Be mostly honest. If you have to send me stuff, send me information about what your car dealership can do for me - maintenance specials, deals for returning customers, estimate my trade-in value. Don't blatantly try to trick me when I'm not even looking for a car. I'll remember this when it is time for a new vehicle. The only thing both of these campaigns (and a few others) have done is make me regret ever walking onto either lot.

Maybe our next vehicle will be a jetpack. I've always wanted one and the kids will be out of booster seats by then. I bet jetpack dealers are cool people.

 (Photo from flightglobal.com)

UPDATE (4/16/13):  I swear I am not making this up. I received an email from one of these dealers earlier today. It's from the price dropping trade in place where we bought the car. I guess technically, the letter was only sent to my email account. The email was directed at the car to celebrate the anniversary of its purchase. Directly from the email:

Dear Malibu:

"Happy Anniversary" from your friends at XXX Chevrolet!

I hope you and Jonathan are getting along well and that Jonathan is taking good care of you. If you have any bumps and scratches, aches or pains, just come in and see us. We are here to care for you. As always if there is anything I can do, please call me at XXX Chevrolet at 518-XXX-XXXX.

I hope you and your owner have an excellent day!

I'm going to be "That Guy" for 10 minutes

There's a new restaurant with a Utica theme opening this week in Albany. Personally, I've enjoyed my visits to Utica. Like the food there. Like the people too. I wish the restaurant the best of luck. Seriously. I know the restaurant business is tough. I hope this one succeeds.

That being said, I'm going to be an internet asshole for a minute. I wasn't going to, but here I am typing so I guess I am "That Guy."

The menu for the restaurant has been posted at Table Hopping and All Over Albany. Some things look better than others to me, as with any menu. The wine list is what is turning me into the aforementioned internet troll who is complaining about a restaurant that hasn't even opened yet. The wines of choice are Carlo Rossi jug wines. No problems with the wine. My issue is with the cost - $4 a glass. I'm not sure how big a serving will be (I did say I was being an asshole), but those jugs Carlo Rossi Paisano wine in the pictures retail for $12. Retail, not wholesale. I imagine the restaurant will get it cheaper.

I get markup. I get you can go into a restaurant an buy a $9 bottle of wine for close to $30. A 300% ballpark markup seems pretty standard. I few weeks ago I was in Mingle and had a glass of Concannon Petite Syrah that our waiter recommended. The glass of wine cost $6. A bottle at Empire Wines is $7. With a little over four 6-ounce pours to a bottle they are charging $24 for the bottle (which is Mingle's price if you want to buy the whole bottle too). That's a 343% markup.

Let's compare. These are 4 liter jugs of wine. That's about 135 ounces, or just over 22 six-ounce pours. At a price of $4 a glass, that $12 jug will cost customers $88. That's a 733% markup.

Maybe a serving of wine fills a pint glass, or a small carafe. Or maybe I'm completely off base with restaurant wine pricing. I don't know. I'm currently being an asshole so I don't care. Should I visit this restaurant to eat someday, the cheap bastard in me will have glass of water. With lemon, please. At least until I see a really big glass of wine go by.

C'mon Food Network

I was flipping through the on screen guide last night and saw a show I had never heard of on Food Network. The show is titled Meat Men and it is about a large high end beef supplier outside New York City. Maybe they have other meats, but they didn't in this episode. I set the DVR to tape it and I just watched it. Well, kind of sat through it while playing Draw with Friends. I have games going with each of my sisters in law.

Ignoring the disappointment that they only show cutting things that were already broken down and aged. No sides of beef. Just porterhouse and tomahawk steaks. No talk of where it came from or their suppliers. But they appear to dry age themselves.And to give credit where credit is due, the beef looked good. This show could be awesome. It could be informative and really show people where their food is coming from. Not that I was expecting that from Food Network,  but the show could have been something special. Instead, it is your standard dime-a-dozen faux reality shows with made up emergencies. My grievances about this particular episode in no particular order:

The parade of fake, bullshit emergencies: First, a panicked chef calls and need 10 porterhouse steaks for the currently ongoing dinner service. Luckily, cameras are there to catch both sides of the phone conversation. The steaks get there late after the delivery driver gets lost, but they are there just in time. Whew.

Every single knife they have is dull. At the same time. Lets put every knife in a box, get the knife guy back to his shop to sharpen them all. Nothing gets done until we get our 20 knives back. Seriously. They did that. Are you freaking kidding me? This place only has 20 knives? And they must all get sharpened at the same time daily. In one of the asides the main guy says, "And I don't even have a knife in the building." We're talking about cutters that are honing knives after every fifth or sixth cut. No back up blades. But wait, it gets worse...

A celebrity chef calls while everyone is standing around and needs sixty tomahawk steaks for the current evenings dinner. That's a 6 and a zero. 60 custom steaks for a party, a few hours after the order is made. Again, cameras are there to catch the chef ordering as well as anxiously looking at the door for the order to arrive.

Plus, everything has to get done by midnight so a turkey hunting trip can happen the next day. And with all the bullshit, they still had to show everything 4 times. You know, in case you missed 3 minutes of the show, you could be caught up that they still had no knives and a big order to fill.

Top Chef often seemed over the top for the sake of producing drama but this was just silly. Based on what they showed, I think I may have more knives in the house than they have at their business. If they needed emergencies, they could have made up some believable ones. How about a compressor goes and they are losing cooling? Maybe a delivery truck breaks down. Band saw blade breaks (they probably don't have a back up and would have to drive to Buffalo to get a replacement). Or if they want blood, someone gets cut or hurt.

The show probably shouldn't have pissed me off as much as it did, but what a waste. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, this show was one of the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. You want to watch 30 minutes of people working with and discussing being a butcher, watch this instead.

Thanks for listening. I feel a little better. I'm off to try and draw something on my phone.

Grand Theft Ham at Price Chopper

I was robbed. earlier today.

The Price Chopper in Latham has a little deli touch pad where you can place your deli order, go shopping and then come pack in 15-20 minutes and pick the order up. Usually, the system works great. Huge time saver. But twice, I have fallen victim the theft. A few months ago, someone walked off with my whole order. Just gone. Poof. I had to stand there another 20 minutes to get the order.

Earlier today, I was in the store, placed my deli order (quarter pound of hard salami, quarter pound of ham) and went shopping for the week. I was number 77. About 20 minutes after I placed the order, I heard "Deli order 77 is ready for pickup" over the PA and started walking my cart back to the deli. When I got there, easily within 5 minutes of the announcement, the salami was there but the ham was gone. Both the ham and salami were checked off with a Sharpie by the deli staffer that prepped the order. The two bags of cold cuts would have been loosely taped together. Someone freakin' stole it. When I brought it to a staffer's attention, their face had a "not again" apologetic look so it must happen pretty regularly.

Now, I will be able to work through this supermarket violation. Sure it will probably take a few therapist visits, but I'll get over it and feel safe in the supermarket once again. What I really want to know is where the line is for this kind supermarket thief. This is not your typical shoplifting. This particular thief knowingly stole something that someone else had ordered. So my questions for you Mr. or Mrs. Schmuck: I know you are guilty of deli theft, probably also guilty of bringing 30 things into the 15 items or less line before slowly writing a check and you probably live somewhere filled with office supplies that mysteriously vanished from your workplace. And my guess is that you rationalize this deli theft by telling yourself that you are paying the store for the cold cuts so you really aren't stealing. But you selfishly stole 10 minutes from me today. They must be valuable because you couldn't be bothered to waste them waiting for your own order. Not sure how many other people you delayed or stole time from at the counter. Where do you draw the line? Would you pick something out of another shopper's cart because you can't be bothered to find it yourself in the store? Would you lie about pre-ordering a turkey at Thanksgiving? What about a cake? Would you take an ordered cake? Are you doing this in front of your kids? What about at work - are you stealing lunch meat out of that fridge too?

Quit taking stuff that isn't yours.

Large Book Stores Are Running Themselves Out of Business

There's a book I want. I looked it up online at Barnes and Noble because I have a gift certificate for the store. Online the price is $27 with tax and free shipping included. I work near Colonie Center so I figured I'd walk over there at lunchtime and pick the book up. I find it on the shelf in the food section (where else?) and there are about 5 copies. I look it over, read the flaps and start to walk over to the sales counter when the price on the book catches my eye. It's $40 in the store. I ask the guy behind the counter about the price difference and he says, "We can't do an online price."

"But it's your online price," I responded.

"Yeah, we can't do online prices," was the reply.

So the book went back onto the shelf and I came home and ordered it from them online. If this is the case with all of the books that cost $25 or more, I don't see how a store like that will ever be anything more than a place to go and browse. This is probably why Borders is gone from the area. They probably couldn't compete with themselves either.

Homemade Hot Dogs

I spent the past 3 hours fighting sheep casings. I think they may have won. I just pounded a beer. I feel a little better.

I shouldn't have an opinion about this

If seven year's ago you asked me, "Jon, if you had to pick just one...would you go to a Sesame Street production or something put on by Disney?" I would have looked at you like like I had just found extra terrestial life and then tried to quickly come up with a smart ass reply.

Turns out I have a preference. The music, storys, costumes, sound, lighting and any other performace value you can think of are better at......wait for it...... Disney. We braved the remains of Friday's snow storm to go see Elmo at the Palace last night. While it was mostly empty due to the weather, it was also thouroughly under-whelming. When compared to similar shows put on by Disney that have come to the area (Toy Story 3 on Ice and some morning TV stage show for example), the Disney shows are actually impressive. There was one song/dance number that was impressive enough to make you wonder how they were physically doing that on stage. Elmo...not so much.

And while I handing out opinions I shouldn't have, Yo Gabba Gabba freaks me out. 

My 2 Cents

Before I throw a hissy fit, let me start with a friendly "Happy New Year" to all who pass through this site. All the best in 2010.

We spent the week between Christmas and New Years on the road. My in-laws house, an out-of-town friends gathering down in Westchester and then off to the burbs of Baltimore to spend some time with friends from college. It was a fun week. But....there were two things that pissed me off, besides traffic.

While in Maryland I was in a Walmart (why it is frequently pronounced Wall-Marts I'll never know). Personally, I don't like the place and avoid it. I don't think I'd say the store is the root of all evil, but then again maybe I would some days. I do feel the store is partially responsible for the shift in our culture where it became desirable to buy crappy things as long as they are cheap. This decay has been called by some "the Walmarting of America." While the store may not be entirely at fault (people buy the crap they sell), I believe the decay in standards is very real and getting worse. Think I'm wrong...stop by the Olive Garden on Wolf Road this Friday at 6:00 and tell me how long the line is. Then wait in the line and eat there. I triple-dog-dare you.

Anyhow, the particular burb of Baltimore we were visiting, was about a 30 minute drive to the closest similar store (Target, K-Mart, or other chain that isn't coming to mind). My buddy wanted to order some photo prints off a flash drive. Then we were off to pick up a vanity he needed some help moving. No big deal. While he was loading pictures into one of those picture kiosks, I roamed the store. Since I am kind of a food nut, I went right to the kitchen aisles and was faced with the first thing that pissed me off. Apparently, Paula Deen has a line pots, pans, bowls, tea kettles...the works. They are all ugly, el-cheapo enamel on wafer thin steel. Why would she put her name on this crap? Clearly for the cash, but why not put your name on a decent product? I'm not saying she deserved to get hit in the face with a ham, but I believe the song says "Instant Karma's gonna get you. Gonna knock you right in the head."

The second thing that pissed me off this weekend was here at the house. I was putting some stuff away in the kitchen and noticed a Snickerdoodle recipe on the side of a bag of Domino brand sugar. I love a good Snickerdoodle. They're great. So I looked a little closer. The recipe was from Sandra Lee. I took a deep breath and read on. This domestic goddess wants people to buy a package a premade sugar cookie dough, put it in the bowl of a stand mixer, whip in a few ounces of cream cheese, some confectioners sugar and some vanilla. Then roll the dough into balls and coat with cinnamon sugar. I am not a cookie expert by any means, but skip the premade dough and break out flour, eggs, some butter and maybe some baking powder and you've made them from scratch. Let's find out. I just googled "Snickerdoodle recipe" and here's the ingredient list from the first entry which comes to us from the probably very nice people at popularcookierecpies.com compared to Sandra Lee's recipe (I really need to learn how to make a table here)

Homemade......................Semi-Homemade

butter
granulated sugar......................granulated sugar
baking soda
cream of tartar
egg
vanilla........................................vanilla
all purpose flour
cinnamon...................................cinnamon
....................................................confectioners sugar
....................................................package of dough
....................................................cream cheese

The semi-homemade version has 6 ingredients (not counting the list of who-knows-what in the cookie dough) for the home cook to gather. An actual homemade snickerdoodle has 8 ingredients. Since you are supposed to be doing this in a stand mixer, one only needs to add the following to Sandra Lee's directions :

1) unwrap butter (very easy)
2) measure flour (pretty easy)
3) crack an egg (the most skill intensive aspect of the homemade recipe)
4) add in baking soda and cream of tarter (measuring spoons can be tricky but I'm sure Paula Deen is selling them in several reassuring colors at your local Wall-Marts)

Are we so freaking screwed in the head that we can't be bothered to measure ingredients into the stand mixer? Really?!? I can't believe this lady has a job.

I just thought of a third thing that pisses me off. I probably could have made 2 dozen Snickerdoodles in the time it took to write this rant. Whose the idiot now?

Wholy Small World, Batman!

Over 10 years ago, I found a BBQ listserv kind of thing with discussion threads, people asking questions and people arguing over the answers. True BBQ for the true BBQ fan. The list was run buy a guy named Dave who eventually became the first person that went from anonymous online voice to person I met. We had a very nice dinner at a BBQ joint named Wilbur's in North Carolina. Anyhow, Dave had a website and links to things on pit construction, technique, a debated BBQ Faq plus whatever he thought was interesting. Now I followed this email group, mostly in a non-participating role refered to as "lurk mode" for awhile. After most of the topics had been repeated multiple times, the list slowed down. Then the list changed names and locations and began to refer to itself as The Society for the Preservation of Traditional Southern Barbecue. I followed that for awhile and then stopped after I had some computer issues. There are names from the list I remember fondly. There was a really nice guy in Texas who went by "Belly." While following the list, Belly's wife Susie passed away I remeber being surprised at how sad I felt. I had never met Belly or his wife. But the list was the kind of place where the active participants seemed like friends. I guess that is the beauty of cyber-space. You have friends you never met.

I'm not sure what became of the list. Looking at old web pages, it might still be going. The main thing I took away from it was to try cooking low and slow directly over the coals. I tried it. I loved it. Life has never been the same since.

There were several memebers that were very active. There was a guy who's tag was "Bob in Ga." Bob in Ga. was (and probably still is) very passionate about food and BBQ. He had smokers, pits, pizza ovens and his own farm where he raised all of his meat. Truth be told, "Jon in Albany" is a personalized derivative of Bob in Ga. I think there was a part of me that wanted to be like Bob in Ga. when I grew up. There might still be - I recently looked at a house with enough land for pits and livestock.

Bob in Ga. would insist that BBQ was produced by cooking a whole hog directly over coals created by burning wood(no charcoal-not even lump), seasoned vinegar is the only acceptable sauce, and a BBQ contest is pure evil. He hated contests. Many of Bob in Ga.'s clashes were with people living in suburbia with equipment ranging from a small Weber smoker to a huge propane tank mounted to a trailer travelling from town to town cooking ribs and pork butts. They did not appreciate being told again and again that what they did was not "real." One of the guys that vocally defended his food to Bob in Ga. was a guy named Gary in Chicago.

To prove his point, Bob in Ga. invited any list memeber that was interested in discovering "real BBQ" to a BBQ fest at his farm in Georgia. There, one would be able to slaughter a hog, scald it, prep it and cook in low and slow directly over live hardwood coals. I would have loved to have gone. But, money and vacation time were an issue back then and I never went. I think the event happened more than once. Based on the stories on the list, it was a helluva good time.

Where the hell am I going with this? Stick with me, I think I might be getting there.

Fast forward to 2008. I started reading all the Ruhlman books and began making my own sausage and bacon. One night, on a whim, I googled Ruhlman to see if he had a website. Turns out he had a blog. I had never really paid much attention to blogs. I really liked his blog so I checked out the blogs he had listed on the side. Turns out I liked some of those. The cycle continued and now I follow about a dozen blogs and and I keep looking for others. Anyhow, Ruhman once posted a link to a head cheese making video at Skyful of Bacon. The video was awesome, so I started following the blog and movies both created by Michael Gebert. Michael often refers to an LTH forum whick looks like a hybrid of a blog and the old BBQ email listserv. On the LTH forum there is a lengthy discussion of curing bacon. Since I respect Gebert's opinion and it appears often in the posts, I figured I'd give it a read. In the discussion there are references to Bob in Ga. raised pork and posts by a Gary going by "G Wiv" that is from Chicago. Could that be the Gary? I'm guessing it is since halfway down the second page of post, there is a phot of Gary puting a hog in hot water at Bob in Ga.'s farm. Wholy small world, Batman!

So, I googled Bob in Ga. Turns out he has a website too. Read the "Our BBQ Dream" and "The Wrong Way" for some insight to Bob in Ga.'s passion. It comes through, but came through louder in the old emails.

Sometimes the internet is a small place.